When you move across the world, or anywhere for that matter, it’s scary. There are days that are a lot harder than others. Some days you are enjoying every second of it, and others you want to pack your suitcases and catch the first flight back home.
Over the weekend, I had one of those days. I’ll attribute it to being completely exhausted, but I don’t actually know what was wrong. I was sick Thursday and Friday, which led me to be exhausted on Saturday. I had a really terrible headache, and I hadn’t been able to really sleep. When I woke up Saturday, I still didn’t feel 100 percent. I decided to grab a coffee and breakfast before work. As I was sitting at the coffee shop waiting for my bagel, my mom called me and told me she was on her way to the hospital. That was the start of a really emotional Saturday for me.
Now, I’m not really an emotional person. I hardly ever cry, and I try not to let things bother me too much. But, being around the world and having your mom tell you she’s headed to the hospital is not a fun way to start your day. Honestly, I instantly thought something was wrong with my grandpa again. He’s been on and off sick again for a couple years now, and I thought “Well, this is it. I’m around the world and something awful is going to happen. Everyone told me this was going to happen. What am I doing here?” Turns out, it wasn’t my grandpa … it was my mom. Regardless, when someone is sick in my family, we’re there for each other.
I’ve always been the kid who drove home no matter what time of day or night it was if my mom needed me. This time, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t get in the car and just drive to Memphis. I was barely even able to talk to my mom that day, and I didn’t really know what was going on. As it turns out, she’s fine. But, it was still really scary because she got admitted to the hospital, and I had no idea what was going on.
On top of that, my five-year-old sister called me several times last week asking when I was coming home. She also told me that she needed to know where I lived because she was just going to come to Guam and live with me for the next three years. I’m really close with her, and it’s been so hard to say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be home for a while.” Do you know how hard it is to tell a five-year-old that you aren’t coming home to take her to her first day of school?
I was so thankful I had an event to go to Saturday for work, because it so happened that the moment I was about to have a breakdown in the office was the exact moment I needed to leave to go to the event. So, I had a small breakdown in the car on the way to the event. I actually looked up plane tickets to see when the next flights home were. I covered the event, went back to the office, finished up for the day and got out of there as quickly as possible.
Despite how tough last week was, I was reminded Saturday night why I made the choice to move to Guam and why it was a really good move for me. After work, I went to an event I really wanted to go to. Afterwards, I was talking to one of the Senators. Not for an interview, but just because. She asked how I was liking Guam, and we talked about some things I want to work on while I’m here. During our conversation, I realized that I am here for a reason, and that no matter how many miles a part I am from my family, I’m exactly where I need to be.
I’m sure I will have a few more difficult days along the way, but moving to Guam was a good decision. Luckily, I can call home anytime I need to, and I have wonderful friends here that make the difficult days much better. The longer I’m gone, the more I miss my family, but the closer I am to seeing them again. I’ve always known I was a strong person. I’m hard-headed, I do what I want to do, and I will absolutely never back down from what I think is right … but, I’m realizing being strong doesn’t mean you won’t have weak moments.
So here’s my possibly unwanted advice for the week: No one can be a rock 100 percent of the time. However, when you have difficult moments, adjust your perspective and keep moving forward. I got through it, and so will you. I know a lot of my friends are starting new chapters of their lives, several in new cities. Just remember, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you have a purpose in being there. Sometimes you’ll want to call it quits, but just push through it. The reward will be infinitely greater, and you’ll always learn new things about yourself.
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